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Why Men Are Seldom Depressed

07 Sep
Cover of "Real Men"

Cover of Real Men

_

I received this funny e-mail from a friend – sorry I don’t know who the original author is.  And I suppose I should apologize to my male readers, but hey, I’m really just sharing a laugh!  I hope you all enjoy it!   – tk

Men Are Just Happier People —

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you,

he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Wallet and shoes — one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it

And to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES

· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .

EATING OUT

· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

· A man will pay $20. for a $10. item he needs.

· A woman will pay $10. for a $20. item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

· The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

· A woman has the last word in any argument.

· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

· A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

· Men wake up looking the same as when they went to bed.

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

· Ah, children A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

Hope you enjoyed the post!   🙂

 

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28 Comments

Posted by on September 7, 2013 in Entertainment, Humour, Medium Entries, postaday

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

28 responses to “Why Men Are Seldom Depressed

  1. jackiequeen

    October 8, 2013 at 8:27 am

    Very funny – had to share it on Facebook, hope you don’t mind. Thanks for liking my post.

     
    • tkmorin

      October 8, 2013 at 11:37 am

      Not at all. I quite enjoyed it too! and I quite enjoy your posts about Canada, which you obviously love! 🙂

       
  2. Theresa

    September 25, 2013 at 10:19 pm

    Each time I thought I found my favorite, I kept reading and saw something else…great post. Thank you – I’ll pass it on to my husband and son.

     
    • tkmorin

      September 25, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      :-). I’m glad you enjoyed it!

       
  3. Elaine-

    September 21, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    the secret to not deteriorating during the night… tattoo your make up on and get a man’s hair cut, otherwise known as a really really short pixie cut 🙂

     
  4. hairballexpress

    September 19, 2013 at 2:35 am

    Okay, dude….my human has been laughing out loud ever since she read this…she’s getting me worried….
    Did you get into the catnip?

    Shrimp

     
    • tkmorin

      September 19, 2013 at 9:18 am

      Shrimp, I did. It’s less potent because it was virtual. But I’ve noticed it works well. I’m pleased your owner liked it … If I come across the feline version, I’ll send it to you! :-). LOL

       
      • hairballexpress

        September 19, 2013 at 6:13 pm

        Thank you…I have to watch these humans. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the trouble they get into without me!

        Shrimp

         
        • tkmorin

          September 19, 2013 at 8:07 pm

          Oh, don’t I know it! LOL. 🙂

           
  5. mavimet

    September 14, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    I enjoyed that – but I find myself more with the men in a few items.
    2 pairs of shoes is what I own – both sneakers.
    I only need one suitcase for a vacation – I took 1 plus a carry-on for 4 weeks and it was mostly my camera and accessories in the carry-on.
    Same hairstyle for me for many years – not really a style – just easy to care for. 🙂
    I have 2 sets of clothing – my jeans & t-shirt and my work clothes – not sure why I would dress up more than that
    I’m not sure I even have 6 items in my bathroom 🙂
    Maybe this is why I’m happy – I keep life simple – plus I got rid of the man a long time ago.

     
    • tkmorin

      September 14, 2013 at 6:16 pm

      Yes, I have to say the same thing about me, too; except for the clothes. I’ve been getting help on that front. Now I can actually say, “Now, what Am I going to wear today?” Which is totally alien to me, but I’m enjoying the process! 🙂

       
  6. Escaping Elegance

    September 9, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    The world is your urinal – Now that I have two sons, that’s my favorite.

     
  7. Maria M

    September 8, 2013 at 4:29 am

    Every word is true but I particularly liked the bit: men are aware of short people in the house! Have to agree with Maurice Barry, my hubby loves collecting shoes, he has more than me! But you cannot say that to him.
    Thanks for checking out my blog

     
    • tkmorin

      September 8, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      I liked your blog … and I’m glad you enjoyed the post! 🙂

       
  8. Uncle Spike

    September 8, 2013 at 1:12 am

    Good start to my day – thanks 😀

     
    • tkmorin

      September 8, 2013 at 1:23 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! 🙂

       
      • Uncle Spike

        September 8, 2013 at 1:32 am

        Seldom do I reblog… but this was an exception (but I linked back to your blog) 🙂

         
  9. diffusethemuse

    September 7, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    Reblogged this on Diffuse the Muse..

     
  10. diffusethemuse

    September 7, 2013 at 10:45 pm

    This is brilliant! Thanks so much for sharing. My ribs are killing me!

     
    • tkmorin

      September 7, 2013 at 11:21 pm

      As we’re mine! I’m happy you enjoyed it! 🙂

       
  11. cindybruchman

    September 7, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Hysterical! I know have penis-envy. 😉

     
  12. Maurice A. Barry

    September 7, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    Pretty much correct. Only a few changes–double all the quoted prices to make them correct (A Tux is more like $200, but the point is still correct). Dead wrong on the shoes and on the shaving though–don’t ask for further clarification, please. We do have several moods, three actually: “happy”, “not happy” and “let’s get the b***ards”
    Oh, and the one about toys–my favourite. 🙂

     

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