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How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

01 Aug

Court humour never ceases to make me laugh! This post by Seeker is funny! Enjoy, everyone! – tk

Life Is Like That

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.                                                                                                            
 ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

 ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

 ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long…

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6 Comments

Posted by on August 1, 2013 in Entertainment, Humour, Reblogged

 

6 responses to “How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

  1. seeker

    August 2, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    Here is a slip of the tongue from a Canadian Judge during his instructions to the jury. This was then argued as cause for appeal. The appeal was denied.

    “It is only defeated if and when Crown counsel satisfied you, beyond a reasonable doubt, that Mr. Guilty, I’m sorry, Mr. Wilson is guilty of the crime charged.”

    Comment by Escaping Elegance. Another Canadian.

     
    • tkmorin

      August 2, 2013 at 3:36 pm

      I love it!! Appeal was denied, I’ll bet, because that would be a lame excuse to spend a million on a new trial … Thank you so much, P for these! So funny!! 🙂

       
  2. weggieboy

    August 2, 2013 at 9:19 am

    Yes, pretty amazing! I hope I’m never in the stand when such questions are asked because my sarcasm mode kicks in pretty fast with idiots. LOL!

     
    • tkmorin

      August 2, 2013 at 10:55 am

      And then you can imagine the jury’s reaction when they re-read the testimony, not seeing your smurk, or hearing the tone … But you have to admit, good for the witnesses answering the way they did, eh? 🙂

       
  3. seeker

    August 1, 2013 at 11:55 pm

    I try to stay away from lawyers jokes but I can’t resist this one. Tee hee…. thank you for sharing. 😛

     
    • tkmorin

      August 1, 2013 at 11:59 pm

      Especially when I’m reading court transcript right, I found it even funnier than usual. But still, they are my favourites!!
      🙂

       

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