How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

Court humour never ceases to make me laugh! This post by Seeker is funny! Enjoy, everyone! – tk


These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.                                                                                                            
 ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

 ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

 ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long…

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  1. Here is a slip of the tongue from a Canadian Judge during his instructions to the jury. This was then argued as cause for appeal. The appeal was denied.

    “It is only defeated if and when Crown counsel satisfied you, beyond a reasonable doubt, that Mr. Guilty, I’m sorry, Mr. Wilson is guilty of the crime charged.”

    Comment by Escaping Elegance. Another Canadian.


    • I love it!! Appeal was denied, I’ll bet, because that would be a lame excuse to spend a million on a new trial … Thank you so much, P for these! So funny!! 🙂


    • And then you can imagine the jury’s reaction when they re-read the testimony, not seeing your smurk, or hearing the tone … But you have to admit, good for the witnesses answering the way they did, eh? 🙂


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